Florida Man Charged with Animal Cruelty after Impregnating Wild Alligator

Florida is known for its sandy coast and dangerous swamp lands, so it is no surprise when someone is attacked by an alligator.

alligator head

What is surprising however, is when an alligator sues for alimony after bearing a human child. Shortly after a sexual swamp mishap, the dinosaur-like creature became pregnant with Phony Storey’s child. After refusing to help the animal and claiming it wasn’t his, Allie the alligator decided to have a DNA test done. Sure enough, the child that she birthed was his, and threatened to go to the authorities if he did not take responsibility for his actions. In Phony’s defense, he did try after this. Buying a golf-ball sized wedding band and proposing to Allie. The marriage was short-lived however, when the alligator began spending more time in the swamp than in the house. Phony grew suspicious of what she was doing in there and accused her of adultery, but could never find any evidence to support his accusations.

In the end after filing a lawsuit against Storey, he was charged with animal cruelty, sexual assault, alimony, and ordered to pay back-child-support to Allie for taking care of their only child. Let this be a lesson to men out there that even females of different species can find a way to legally screw you over if you decide to screw them.


~ C. J. Strong


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